The Ratt Hole Goes Multicultural!

Click to read the Ratt Hole in the following alternative dialects:
Redneck, Jive, Cockney, Elmer Fudd, Swedish Chef, Moron, Hacker, or Pig Latin.
(A big-ol’ Swoosh of the Stringy Tail to Paul Skoczylas for alerting me to this new Net functionality!)
The official web page of Riviera Ratt, PITA
also aka "The Ratt That Roared"
 You are the 729,122nd person to visit this site today!
Special Offer! For a limited time only, ladies visit this web site for free!
Special offer! A brand-new boat, paddle, PFD, helmet...a complete set of paddling gear to the 729,123rd visitor!

The Ratt would like to extend a hearty Wave of the Stringy Tail to Keel-haulers’ webmeister John Kobak, who beta-tested this site. An invaluable resource, he is a Master Beta-tester!

Thanks to the Keel-haulers Canoe Club for allowing the Ratt Hole to use its server space for our own selfish needs.

Please be patient while we update the Ratt Hole. Some of the photo lynx don't work for now, as we're reorganizing our gallery. The lynx will be back when we're good and ready, dammit.

Success! Return of the Ratt!
Where is the Ratt?
Where is the Ratt?
More Ratt News
The Most Recent RBP Blather
Tail of Maltreatment
Big Splat Bock
Due to recent demands imposed by the Rattnappers, cynically posing as the Ratt himself, the offer of two bottles of Big Splat Bock as a reward for the safe return of the Ratt is hereby rescinded. And let me tell you: they were tasty.
If you want to see the incriminating evidence against one of the nefarious nabobs of napping, click here for some info, derived from one of the ransom notes!
It's not my job
Okay, it's not a rat; but it is a critter (thanks to Ken S. for pointing out that it's a marsupial, not a rodent [duh]), and the Possum King would approve. I received this photo under the heading, "not my job." Jim Hill of Bay Minette, AL, says "I first saw this photo in the Mobile Press-Register a couple of years ago.  The newspaper also cleverly printed t-shirts with the armadillo logo and the caption: 'Damn the armadilloes--full speed ahead!'" (I still think it’s a possum.) If you know of an earlier sighting of this photo, please let me know.
Bottom Bracers
A shake of the Ratt Tail to Keith Gross for this design.

Kewl Lynx

Paddling Pages in the Ratt Hole:

RattBoy's Hall of Shame
(Now with pictures!)
The Millennial Hall of Shame

The Annual Ohiopyle Falls Festival
(Okay; it's not part of the Ratt Hole, butt since your intrepid reporter is its webmaster, we oughta link it prominently.)

New! Cheat and Upper Yough, July 2012!

MooseFest 2011

MooseFest 2010

Ratt Boy's CheatFest Report

The AdamStazi Tour 

Child-Proof Locks

The Riviera Ratt Songbook

Recon Ron and Sue get married!!

Scary Initiation Pics

Trashing at Stuey’s Hole

Trashing at Butterfly Rock

Rolling Philosophy

Big Sandy Photos

White Water

Paddlers' License Plates

Bottom Bracers

Rules of River-Running

Ohio Whitewater


Non-paddling Pages in the Ratt Hole:

New!! Ratt Boy's Click of the Week! (Updated 6/1/12)

Clicks of Previous Weeks

Ratt Boy in Tuckerman Ravine

Ratt Boy's Mushroom Lynx


The Ratt Returns!

Meet The Dummies!

Ratt Boy's Poetry Page

I owe it all to Pfizer.

Praise for the Ratt Boy

Ratt Boy's Virus Hoax Resource

Comments about this site? Then email me! Please include your credit card number, expiration date, and name as it appears on the card. Information will be used for verification and acquisitive purposes only. Please be assured that the information will NOT be used to acquire cheaply made paddling equipment, nor will the information be sold to anyone offering less than market value. Concerned about privacy and security? We got yer encryption technology right here, buddy.