Riviera Rattís Rules of River Running

  1. If you can swim, you donít have to drown.
  2. If you can roll, you donít have to swim.
  3. If you can brace, you donít have to roll.
  4. If you can lean, you donít have to brace.
  5. If youíre on the couch, you donít have to lean.
Notes on the preceding:

1. Of course there are instances in which people who could swim have drowned in any case. Be careful out there. (If you need clarification of this point, maybe you should only be paddling your fraternity pledges, stupid.)

5. Have you ever experienced major gastric distress while watching TV? There are times when, even if youíre on the couch, you have to lean.

Click here to slink back into the Ratt Hole!